- Me: Where are the owls? WHERE ARE THE OWLS?
- Hooters Waitress: Please sir, you're causing a fuss and disturbing the other customers-
- Me: *banging my hands rhythmically on the table* WHERE-ARE-THE-OWLS? WHERE-ARE-THE-OWLS? WHERE ARE THE OWLS?
today I learned that if you want to slash someone’s tires, don’t slash all four; only slash three because if you slash all four their insurance will pay for it but if you only slash three they have to pay for it all out of pocket
today on satan makes a blog post